Blogtimore, Hon

September 07, 2008

Ingredients: 1 lb thick cut pork chops 2 tablespoons canola oil 6 rice paper wrappers* 1/2 pound rice stick noodles 1 cucumber, in thin strips 2 carrots, in long strips 1 head red or green leaf lettuce fresh mint pork marinade: 2 tablespoons rice vinegar 2 tablespoons rice wine 2 tablespoons dark soy sauce 1 teaspoon black sesame oil 2 cloves garlic, sliced dipping sauce: 1 quarter cup
Contemporary Cooking Series Kick-Off:
  • Chef Stefan Sabo, new executive chef of The Oregon Grille, will be presenting "Wild, Wonderful Mushrooms" on Wednesday, September 10, from 6:30-8:30PM . The evening will include a demonstration of four recipes, with tastings and a gift bag to take home. The cost is $20. Reservations are required and can be made by calling 410-773-3900.
Meet Ham on the Street's George Duron
  • Monday, September 29; 6:00PM at Hunt Valley Wegmans- George will demonstrates some recipes from his new cookbook, Take This Dish and Twist It--Comfort Foods with New and Unexpected Flavors. He’ll also be signing copies of his book after the demo. It will be available for purchase the night of the event for 20% off ($15.96)! Don’t miss your chance to meet George; pick up tickets at the Service Desk before they run out! This one is FREE.
In the last two weeks or so, the boys have really started playing with each other more and just enjoying each other's company. Every afternoon, they race around the kitchen island chasing each other, arms out (Nick) or up (William)...

The group of people I hate more than any other are the self-righteous high school dropout. These are employees of , 7-11, and Citgo who will regal you with stories about how they were "not challenged in school", or how "what I was being taught wasn't relevant to life", or my favorite "it was boring". They'll babble on as they serve your Slushy about how their "creativity" was being "smothered" and so forth.

The truth is these people are untalented, ill-disciplined morons. They work dead end jobs with nobody beating down their door to hire them, purchase their latest piece, screenplay, novella, code, or even read their blogs. They are not bored and feel challenged in their current jobs because careers in gas pumping are appropriate people of their intelligence and education levels.

Besides, if it was so fucking easy, why didn't you pass? I was bored with school, but still graduated. I wasn't challenged but still fucking passed. I was creative and still fucking passed.

You know why? I am fucking better than you all. I am actually intelligent, creative, and most important of all, despite severe ADHD, I possess a modicum of self discipline lacking in subnormals such as yourselves.

In short, I am and will always be better than you :)
I love NFL football.


I love the Baltimore Ravens.


I will watch any NFL game, regardless of who's playing, in such a state of concentration that if my house were to catch on fire, I wouldn't even notice. (*Note to friends and family: if you have any bad news to impart, this would be the time to do it.)

I play in two football pools every week. (Sometimes I even win. Mostly I don't.)

I love tailgating.

But if you look at any cookbook or cooking magazine for tailgating recipes, 9 times out of 10 when it comes to dessert you will find that tailgate spreads, which can be really quite elaborate, usually are no more inspired than offering brownies, or chocolate chip cookies. Yawwwwn.... And I get it with the brownies: they are small and compact, fit in the hand, aren't messy, and are loaded with chocolate, which appeals to both men and women. Of course chocolate chip cookies are everybody's default dessert - tried and true, more or less foolproof (except I've had some seriously bad chocolate chip cookies because people burn them on the bottom, but this seems to bother me and nobody else). But! Isn't there something a little more inspired for the new football season?



With these thoughts in mind, and on this the first Sunday of the new football season, I made Ravens cupcakes. Based upon a recipe from the Hello! Cupcake cookbook, these are not at all hard to do, although the assembly technique takes a little practice. With patience and perseverence, you can make these cupcakes for your favorite team (assuming they're a bird-based team, like the Cardinals, the Eagles, the Falcons, etc) on the first try.

Baltimore Ravens Cupcakes

for the cupcakes:

2 + 1/2 c. all-purpose flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 c. milk
1/2 c. vegetable oil
1 tsp. Baldwin's vanilla
1 stick unsalted butter, softened
1 c. granulated sugar
3 large eggs
(or, if you are a cheater, use your favorite boxed cake mix)


Preheat oven to 350 and line 24 cupcake wells with liners.

Whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a medium bowl. Combine the milk, oil, and vanilla in a separate bowl.

Cream together the butter and sugar in an electric mixer, until light and fluffy - about 3 minutes.

Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Reduce the mixer's speed to low and add the flour mixture alternately with the milk mixture, beginning and ending with the flour. Beat just until all is blended together.

Fill the cupcake liners 2/3 full and bake at 350 until done (15-2o minutes.) Remove to a wire rack and cool completely.


To make the Ravens:

12 mini-doughnuts
2 cans vanilla frosting (or make your own, in 2 batches)
24 doughnut holes
1 can chocolate frosting (or make your own)
chocolate wafer cookies
12 yellow Starburst candies
48 mini chocolate chips

1. Spread vanilla icing on the tops of the cupcakes. (I tinted mine purple for the Ravens, but you could make the icing any color you choose, or leave it white.)

2. Cut the mini doughnuts in half and place a half doughnut, cut side down, on top of each cupcake.

3. Place a small spoonful of icing in the middle of the doughnut hole, and place a mini doughnut on top.



4. Spread icing in a "collar" around the "neck" of the Raven, filling in the gaps between the Raven's "shoulders" and neck as much as possible. The smoother you can make the head-and-neck assembly, the better your ultimate Raven will look. Any bumps or imperfections in this stage will carry through when you coat the Raven with the melted icing.


5. Place the cupcakes in the freezer for at least 10 minutes. This is an essential step, as you need things to harden up before you dip the cupcakes into the melted icing. All the icing you're using on these cupcakes serves as the glue that will hold the assemblage together.


6. Cut the chocolate wafer cookies into wings. Using a sharp knife, make 2 parallel cuts in each chocolate cookie 1/2" in from the opposite side. (Merely bisecting the cookie will result in wings that are too big in proportion to the cupcake, so you will essentially be cutting the center out of the cookie.) Trim 1/4" from the top of each wing to make a flat "shoulder." Set the wings aside.


7. Unwrap the Starburst candies and cut them in half diagonally. Set the wings and beaks aside for later assembly.



8. Spoon the canned chocolate icing into a microwave-safe bowl and soften it for about 35 seconds, stirring every 10 seconds to be sure the consistency is right. When the icing is ready for dipping, it should be runny and roughly the consistency of Elmer's glue; when you dip a spoon into the icing, it should easily run back into the bowl.



9. Grab the cupcakes by their liners and dip them into the chocolate icing. Allow excess to run back into the bowl and invert the cupcakes immediately onto a wire rack to firm up. (Use a deep bowl for dipping, to make sure that the icing will come up far enough on the cupcake to cover it from head to the flat top of the cupcake. I found a Pyrex measuring cup to be the best for the job.)






10. Press the wings firmly into the sides of the cupcakes. (Depending on how quickly you work, you may need to add a bead of chocolate icing to "glue" the wings to the bodies.)

11. Press the beaks firmly into the heads of the cupcakes.

12. Spoon vanilla icing into a bag and, using a small tip, pipe 2 round dots of white icing onto the cupcakes' heads to make the eyes. Push a small, mini chocolate chip into the center of each white dot, pointed end in. Allow the cupcakes to solidify completely.


13. If you know your favorite players' jersey numbers, pipe them onto the front of the cupcakes.

Go Ravens.
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600block stopped by the pre-opening party at Hampden’s new Puffs & Pastries to sample some sweet and savory treats. The creation of pastry chef & owner Anisha Jagtap, Puffs (see what I did there?) serves up a mind boggling selection of taste bud delights. We loved the peach cobbler and dark chocolate brownies. And watch out Rodney, the savory items are superb. The grand opening is September 13 during Hampden Fest. Stop by and spoil yourself.

Puffs & Pastries - 830 W 36th St

View all the photos on Flickr

  • it’s been a long time since I was teased by a girl into thinking something exciting may happen overnight. Hanna! #
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Vice President Umbridge, originally uploaded by extraheavymarcellus.

Substitute the magic wand for a bible and spells for a hatred of condoms and there you have it.

How long til Boeckman is replaced by Pryor?

Ohio St. - A narrow escape against Frank Solich's Ohio U squad, which outplayed OSU most of the game, is a bad sign for next week's showdown with USC. Was this a look-ahead letdown, or a sign that OSU will get crushed next week and is overrated (again)? We'll find out next week.

West Virginia - Credit an excellent ECU team with a second straight win over a ranked team, but what happened to the WVU offense? 3 pts? The loss of RichRod and Slaton might matter more than we thought, and the struggles of the defense mean fewer opportunities for the offense.

Notre Dame - It's good to see things improved so much in the offseason in South Bend. SDSU lost to Cal Poly last week at home, but led ND 13-7 well into the 2nd half. Not a good sign for the Irish's chances against the meat of their schedule. Will Weis get the quick hook that Ty got?

Washington - Got jobbed. The officials need to fix the rules on celebration. Kids should be allowed to have fun as long as they're not taunting. The game should not have been decided that way, even if BYU might have blocked the shorter PAT anyway. This loss may cost Ty his job before the end of the year. PS. Jake Locker is a stud.

Jake Locker deserved better from the refs.

ACC Still Sucks - Poor showings by VT, UVA, and especially Maryland indicate it might go like this all year. At least Wake managed a last second FG to beat Ole Miss and stay ranked.

USF - Escaped in OT, it's really too bad their rivalry with UCF is ending.

Cal - 66-3 winners on the road at Wash St., likely to crush Maryland next week...

There are a lot of outrageous/funny/interesting bumper stickers in our neighborhood.  Like this one, for example.  I would love to have a conversation with the owner of this vehicle.  I can only assume that they'd be open-minded and not at all judgemental!

bumpersticker1

 But there is one car that is my favorite, by far. 

bumper sticker mosaic

I'm not even sure what I love the most about this car.  The back window that has consisted of a tarp for as long I can remember?  The innocent Ravens sticker thrown in with the political rants and "FORDS SUCK"?   The fact that this "car" (which is really more like a peice of installation art) is up on blocks more often than it runs?   No, I think the entire rear bumper (which reads  "Hey Martin* Give Me Back My Money, You Thief!") is my favorite part.

*I assume this refers to Martin O'Malley (D), former mayor of Baltimore and current governor of Maryland**.

**Maryland is actually a blue state.  Yes!  I swear. 

There's another "sticker" on the front bumper that I forgot to get a picture of... it says "Vote for Freedom!  Thanks VETS!!!" 

But that's not all.  Simple painted messages on car bumpers won't cut it in an election year.  And that is why this patriotic fellow has now started painting on the lamp posts in our neighborhood. 

But at least we can spell

God, I love Baltimore.  Don't ever let me tell you differently.

this article by David Simon in today's Guardian (UK), and thanks to Matthew for sending. in my city, we have fought the drug war to the very end of the line, with sergeants becoming lieutenants and majors becoming colonels and city mayors becoming state governors. We have done so for decades, one day into the next, one administration after another, each claiming progress and measuring such in
After barely squeaking by FBS Division opponent Delaware at home by a score of 14-7 last week, the Terps proved what we already feared - they're not very good. The switch at QB from Jordan Steffy to Chris Turner actually proved to be a step backwards. The switch in playcalling duties from head coach Ralph Friedgen to offensive coordinator James Franklin was promising, but in practice has resulted in the most predictable, boring and ineffectual offensive scheme in the modern history of football.
Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders


And so tonight the Terps fell on the road to the Sun Belt Conference's Middle Tennessee State University 24-14. The 14 points were scored on a 63-yard Da'Rel Scott run and an 80-yard Heyward-Bey WR screen. In other words, vanilla play calls that were busted open by our only two offensive playmakers. QB Chris Turner was beyond putrid, overthrowing every open receiver and leaving his most catchable balls for the defenders, with three INTs. One INT quickly led to a MTSU touchdown, and another occurred in the end zone.


The scariest thing is that losing to a directional school does not even induce catatonic depression. Here is a partial list of non-BCS teams Maryland has lost to in either football or basketball since winning the national championship in basketball in 2002:


--Middle Tennessee State (2008, football)
--American University (2007-08, basketball)
--Ohio University (2007-08, basketball)
--Virginia Commonwealth (2007-08, basketball)
--Butler (2006-07, basketball)
--Manhattan (2005-06, basketball)
--Temple (2005-06, basketball)
--George Washington (2005-06, basketball)
--George Washington (2004-05, basketball)
--Northern Illinois (2003, football)


Granted, some of these teams were slightly talented, like Michael Turner's Northern Illinois team or Butler's NCAA tournament team. Still, when your football program wins 31 games in three years and your basketball team spends the majority of 1998 to 2002 in the top 10, you should not be losing to any non-BCS school (or Notre Dame, which the Terps have lost to regularly in basketball and once in football over the relevant timeframe).

I think it's time for those of us who are Maryland alums in our late 20's to accept that we attended the school during its brief two-sport heydey. Now we've returned to the muddled, mediocre middle of the NCAA Division I landscape, viewed alongside such schools as NC State and Ole Miss. Sure, we can put together a halfway decent season now and then. Perhaps we can even climb into the teens in the rankings. For the most part, though, we're just filling out a schedule for the real powerhouses.

It's going to take some time to adjust.
A city toddler, Ramon Richardson, (left) went missing from the 1800 block of Milton Avenue after his aunt left him outside, alone. "In the last of its four public hearings, the Maryland Commission on Capital Punishment explored yesterday the risk of innocent people being executed" Peter Hermann gets into the spirit of blogging in a piece on the Colonial Inn's gaming-machine bust: "here are

8646 Loch Raven Boulevard

Towson, MD 21286

410-825-5316

www.pastoresdelly.com

Located just off Joppa Rd is this Deli and Grocer. It is family owned and operated. When you walk in you are met with a smile and a warm welcome. They have many subs, sandwiches, dinners and salads to pick from.


My Husband and I both tried what is claimed to be the best Italian Cold Cut sub in Baltimore. I will say that the sub was one of the better I have had in the Baltimore area.


We also tried 2 meatballs and Italian sausage in sauce. Both meats were very tasty and not greasy. The sauce was one of the best I have had!


For desert we had a cannoli and key lime pie which were both good.


The only thing we had we weren’t a fan of was the Chicken Caesar Pasta salad. Texture was fine but no flavor. We said next time we would give another salad a try.


They also have a nice selection of Italian groceries and deli meats. So I really suggest to you to stop in and try it out!

September 06, 2008

After running this site for 4+ years, I'm getting more e-mails than ever, and have always welcomed music submissions, and am humbled by the fact that people in the Baltimore music scene care about what I do enough to send me their work. At this point, about 2/3rds of my music posts over the past 6 months have been tracks or releases sent to me by the artist or someone involved with the project, and the rest is stuff I took the initiative to buy or find or track down myself. And I try to write about every full-length release I hear, and pick the best possible song to spotlight as a download from each one, whereas I'm more picky and opinionated about what singles and individual tracks I post. Either way, responding to e-mails quickly and helpfully is important to me, although sometimes I lose my patience like anyone, or get tired of going through the whole ritual multiple times a week, sometimes multiple times a day. And sometimes, I'm just dealing with people who need to get their shit together before they talk to me (true story: a while back someone had me go downtown, pay for parking, and wait over an hour for them to show up, and then handed me a CD with no artwork or tracklist, which I won't write about because I can't review a CD without song titles). So I'm trying to streamline that process and make it easier for everyone involved, especially me, and the first step is creating a Frequently Asked Questions section that I can refer people to. I'm still going to get back to people personally whenever possible, and don't want to come off like a dick with a flippant answer, but now and then someone's gonna ask something I'm really sick of answering and I'm just gonna show them this page and refer them to #14 or #3 or something.

#1
Q: How can I get my album or mixtape covered on the site and what are your requirements for submissions?
A: If you e-mail me privately, we can work out whether you can mail me a copy or drop it off to me personally or send me a download link, or even let me know where to buy it. I prefer to get physical copies of CDs with all the artwork and liner notes whenever possible, but if a download is the only option or the most reasonable one, that's cool. Big involved press kits with pictures and bios don't really do anything for me; if that info is on your site or can be emailed to me, that saves a lot of printing and postage for you, and I don't have to throw it out later when the mess in my apartment is getting out of control. People who I see out at shows or who reach out and talk to me like a person and not a customer or a career opportunity always make a bigger impression on me than people who put a lot of effort into seeming "professional" in all the ways that don't actually matter.

#2
Q: Can you post the flyer for my event?
A: If your event features local Baltimore hip hop artists playing in a Maryland venue (or in some cases, Baltimore artists playing out of town), yes. If it's a show by national/touring artists with no local artists on the bill, no. If it's just a rock concert with hip hop or club music or R&B artists, no. If it's just a DJ night or dance party with no performances, probably not, unless it's a Baltimore club DJ spinning club music.

#3
Q: Can you post my press release or bio?
A: No. I post flyers and occasionally promotional copy for shows, but I don't post about artists or their releases unless I'm using my own words and giving my own opinion.

#4
Q: Can you post my flyer right now even though the event is weeks away?
A: No. If I post it more than 2 weeks before the event, it will definitely fall off the page before it happens, and I'm not going to post the same thing twice.

#5
Q: My album isn't out yet and/or doesn't have a release date and/or doesn't have distribution yet. Can you review it now?
A: I prefer to review releases that are already available to the public, whether as a retail product or a free download, or in some rare cases shortly before a definite release date. Getting an advance copy is cool, and gives me a chance to write about something when it's brand new, but I'm not gonna write at length about something that the reader can't hear for themselves anytime soon. There's already enough bullshit in the mainstream rap industry feeding into hyping an album that won't be out for months and months, on an indie level I think it's better to focus on the here and now.

#6
Q: I gave you a CD a week ago/a month ago/6 months ago. Why haven't you posted about it yet?
A: Because I choose what I write about when I write about it, and this is not a Burger King review factory where you have it your way as fast as you desire. Sometimes I write about something quickly because I'm excited about it and want to share it with people right away, sometimes I write about something quickly because it sucks and I don't want to take the effort to listen to it more than once. Sometimes good stuff gets shuffled to the bottom of the stack and forgotten for a while for arbitrary reasons. I literally have a stack of roughly 50 CDs on top of my desk right now that I haven't written about on Gov't Names yet that I plan to at some point. I try not to let things sit around for more than a year, but considering that I do this for free out of my own compulsion and love of music, I'm not really gonna apologize if it's not always an airtight operation.

#7
Q: You've posted my music in the past, why haven't you posted any of the last 15 things I sent you?
A: Maybe I haven't gotten around to it, maybe I only post music that often by artists I really really like and you aren't one of them, maybe you fell the fuck off.

#8
Q: Can you post about my DVD?
A: I try to do DVD wrap-ups now and again when I have a few new ones, but it doesn't happen very often, because to be honest I would rather listen to a hundred mixtapes before I sit through one hip hop DVD. They mostly suck, to be honest. I mean, I'm sure yours is the best that's ever been made, but as a whole they're pretty boring.

#9
Q: Can you review my CD for the Baltimore City Paper?
A: Maybe. Again, I write about almost everything I get on Gov't Names, but I write about maybe 10% or 20% of that stuff for the City Paper, so I'm only going to bother with the best or most noteworthy or interesting stuff I hear. And I am just a freelancer contributor, so I pitch things all the time but it's up to editors whether I actually get to write about them. If your #1 priority is getting written about in the City Paper, you should send your CD to every editor and writer that covers local music for them, not just me because I happen to be the most accessible.

#10
Q: Can you interview me for the City Paper?
A: I'm even more selective with my feature articles than I am with my reviews, and I tend to choose to write about people because I see a story there, whether they've brought up the idea or even know who I am. So if you're going to ask me straight up to do one, I need to know what the hell there is to write 1,000 words about you before I even think about answering that question, and more than just garden variety "rags to riches"/"I'm going to change music" bullshit, like actual past accomplishments or your unique personality or perspective. If you can't make me excited about your music and your story to write a great article about you, then I'm the wrong person to write about you and you should go talk to other writers. Some people I know for years and hear several projects from before it feels like the right time to give them some kind of serious coverage, so I'd rather build with people and hear from them consistently than just be asked for a feature right out the box.

#11
Q: Can you come to my show and review it?
A: The answer is probably yes, because I cover live music twice a week for the City Paper's Noise blog and am pretty much constantly looking for shows to check out, although obviously it all depends on whether I'm free that night (or if I feel I've already covered the event or venue or the other artists on the bill too much lately).

#12
Q: Can you write about my film/clothing line/lemonade stand/etc.?
A: Probably not. I'm a music critic, first and foremost, and now and again I cover things that aren't explicitly music-related, but there are a lot of other writers you'd be better off asking.

#13
Q: Can Gov't Names sponsor my event?
A: Maybe, if that doesn't involve me providing any funds.

#14
Q: Can the City Paper sponsor my event?
A: I write for the City Paper on a freelance basis, and am not a full-time employee or representative of the publication or its parent company, and have no

#15
Q: Can we make a prize for our battle that you will write an article about the winner?
A: No, I write about what I want to write about and it would be unethical to put my writing up for auction.

#16
Q: Can I pay you to write about me?
A: No. That's against my personal ethics as a journalist.

#17
Q: Can I pay you to write a bio for my press kit?
A: Maybe, although if I like you as an artist, I'd rather give you press coverage than write your promotional copy, and if I don't like you as an artist, I probably won't be interested in writing a bunch of positive things in your bio that I don't really mean. Unless the money's really really good, then maybe I can muster up the enthusiasm.

#18
Q: Can I cut-and-paste or liberally borrow from something you wrote about me for my press kit or website?
A: Sure, if you put it in quotation marks and credit myself and the outlet I wrote the words for by name, and provide a link if possible. This is an entirely imaginary question, by the way, people never ask before doing this.

#19
Q: Can you post my music video that I hired a director for and put a lot of money into looking as good as possible?
A: Sure, probably.

#20
Q: Can you post my shaky camcorder YouTube video of my freestyling or lip syncing to a song in front of a brick wall?
A: Probably not.

#21
Q: Can you post my new song "featuring" a big mainstream star that sounds suspiciously like I just added my vocals to a hit single already on the radio?
A: Unless you dropped the best verse of your life on it, I probably won't bother posting it. And if it is the best verse of your life, why'd you put it on a half-assed "remix" of a song by someone you don't even know?

#22
Q: Can I put your name or the phrase Government Names on my event flyer or CD liner notes?
A: I'm fine with that most of the time, if you let me know in advance. However, bear in mind that I probably wouldn't write professionally about any CD or event that has my name or my site's name displayed prominently on it, since that would probably look like some kind of unethical conflict of interest, even if in reality it isn't.

#24
Q: Can you judge our MC battle/producer battle/etc.?
A: Maybe. I've done a few and they're fun, but it's gotten to the point where I have to say no as many times as I say yes because I don't want to do that every week.

#25
Q: Can you get me signed or make me a star?
A: No. I'm a big fish in a small pond, and some people here act like I'm important, but in terms of the mainstream music industry, on a national level or even just in Baltimore, me writing about you will not make you famous. I can give you a first impression to my readership, and I can introduce you to dozens of artists and producers and journalists and studios and labels and share my knowledge of the scene with you, but anything beyond that is on you.

#26
Q: Can I quote you or use you as a reference for an article I'm writing?
A: Yes, sure, anything for a fellow music writer. But I do reserve the right to be bitter about the fact that writers seem to read my work and base their own work upon it much more often than editors seem to read my work and ask me to write for their publication.

#27
Q: Who are the other writers on Gov't Names and what happened to all the mainstream Southern rap coverage on this site?
A: GN was founded as a collaborative blog with multiple contributors, but after they all kind of dropped out after the first year, I became the sole proprietor and decided to make Baltimore music its permanent focus.

#28
Q: I'm not and never have been from Baltimore or anywhere else in Maryland. Can you post my music?
A: Nope! Geography is the criteria that dictates the content of my site, and there are millions of other sites that don't have that restriction that you can talk to.

I’m really excited to present this week’s Before and After because it’s a great project from one of our favorite home improvement bloggers, Todd @ Home Construction improvement.

Todd transforms a plain white fireplace surround into a classy and stylish accent piece that adds value to their home.  As you’ll read in his story, this was Todd’s second fireplace mantel project.  I think you’ll agree he’s really got talent.  If you want more information on the project, you can check out Todd’s post on the Custom Fireplace Mantel over at his site.

As a result of Todd’s submission, One Project Closer will make a $25.00 donation to Habitat for Humanity in his honor.  Todd’s also entered into our end of Summer contest for a $50 gift card to the home improvement store of his choice.

Granite Fireplace Mantel Surround by Todd

We installed a gas fireplace in our formal living room when we built the house. The granite installer that we use offered us the granite surround as payment for a small crack in our kitchen countertop. As beautiful as the granite is a fireplace is not complete without a nice mantel. In our previous home I built a custom mantel so I was excited to design and build another one.

Most mantels have two prominent features; the supporting columns or legs and the head or beam that runs horizontal between the columns. For this house my wife’s only two requirements were; a raised hearth so she could sit on it when the fire is going and the top mantel shelf needed to be at least 12” deep so she can place her special Christmas lights on it during the holidays. I’ve always enjoyed the look of traditional colonial style mantels so the design is my stab at accommodating our design needs with the look of a traditional colonial style mantel.

One of the techniques that I used to make this mantel is a simple method to create the look of wainscoting columns. As you can see from the pictures I started with ½” thick MDF to create the basic box for the columns. Next I used ¾” pine to create the rails and stiles. To finish off the look I used some band molding inside the rail and stiles. (Add photos 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 however you like)

 

To create the head piece I basically created a box and added layers of molding to build up the section as you see. As you can see I added blocking behind the crown molding sections to give it strength and also to help hold the geometry so the mitered corners would be as tight as possible. Everything is nailed and glued (I really like Gorilla Glue). All of the molding profiles that we used are from Windsor One’s colonial collection. They make some really great profiles that you don’t find in standard lumber yard moldings these days.

Once all the moldings were installed on the head section I installed a piece of 5/4 finger/jointed pine for the mantel shelf. All the holes were filled with water based filler, all the joints between each piece of molding were filled with latex caulking, the entire piece was sanded, primed and then painted with three coats of Sherwin Williams Semi-Gloss paint. This project took me about 40 man hours to complete and I would say it’s an intermediate to advance type of home improvement project.

Thanks from One Project Closer

Todd, thanks so much for the submission.  You know we love your site, and this mantel really shows off your talent!  Keep up the fantastic work!

Habitat Quick Fact

While many parts of Lousiana were spared in hurricane Gustav, the damage was still very significant in many places.  This article and picture are from Habitat’s site:

August 29, 2008 was supposed to be a day of remembrance and renewed hope for residents of communities across the Gulf Coast, as it marked the three-year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina’s landfall in the United States. Instead, these communities had to prepare for the first major hurricane to threaten the Gulf since the destructive 2005 hurricane season.

Hurricane Gustav struck the coast on Labor Day (September 1, 2008) in southwest Louisiana and caused significant damage and destruction to rural communities that are still feeling the toll from hurricanes Katrina and Rita. A number of our Habitat affiliates were affected by Hurricane Gustav and are now beginning to assess its impact on their communities to better serve low-income families.

Please consider matching our donation in the wake of Hurrican Gustav.  The families in that area desperately need the support of their countrymen in other states.  You can find Habitat’s donation page here.  Leave us a comment below if you do contribute so that we can honor you in a future post.

There’s Just Two More Weeks!

Well, the official end of the Summer is near, and there’s just two more weeks to have your article featured in our Before and After event.  We wanted to let you know that we still need at least one more article to finish the year with an article for every week.  I hope you’ll consider submitting an article!  Note that if we don’t run your article during the Summer contest, we will run it this Fall.  Send your submissions to oneprojectcloser@gmail.com in virtually any format.

What do you think?  Isn’t Todd’s creation great?  Leave a comment here and then bounce on over to his site.

I just got out of the shower and am heading to dinner and while combing my beard realized that I am going to put up with this for the next 4 months because I am being Santa Clause for a kid's party sometime in late November or early December. Right now my beard is mid-length for me (not as bad as it was when I was in Ireland and when I went to sleep my face didn't touch the pillow) but it grows pretty fast and gets super annoying and super itchy pretty quickly ... but since my godson Breccan is one of the kids that is going to be at the party I feel obligated to tuff it out. The only problem right now is that the party is tentatively scheduled for the same day as the Redskins-Ravens game and that is an issue for several of the families involved. I don't know if the woman organizing it realizes how committed some of these families are to their local football teams and that they would probably miss it since this game only happens once every four years during the regular season. Personally, I don't mind because I feel like I could sell the tickets for 2 or 3 times what I paid (I have season ravens tickets this year). I would like to go the game, but not as much as I would like more money in my pocket ... and, of course to make the kids happy by pretending to be a fictional character. Maybe I'll post some beard pictures as it progresses.
As I sit down and look out the window on a gloomy Saturday with the rain coming down, and the wind whipping through the sky, I ask myself what the hell did I see last night in person at the Yard?

The Orioles seemed in the game, down by a run — that is, until the eighth inning — thus, little did I know how my fandom would be tested.

While sitting in a intermittent rainstorm and wondering how bad conditions would be on Saturday, the Orioles perhaps had one of their worst innings that I think I have seen in person, much less in baseball — ever.

Some teams have given up more runs throughout the course of an inning; however, how can a team walk in four runs in a frame? To add insult to injury, the pinch-runner who came in the beginning of the inning hit a grand slam home run and it served as the only hit in the frame. In the end, the Oakland A’s were handed a win 11-2, because the Oriole relief staff had severe problems even just finding the strike zone in the fatal frame in the eighth.

Last night was embarrassing, and perhaps served as probably the first time that I have left early because I was disheartened by what I saw. If there’s one thing I know, we need pitching — at this point, and into 2009 — a lot of it.

Furthermore, I feel for Dave Trembley, as to have something like this — ok, it was not nearly as bad as the 30-3 game — take place on a day where your option was picked up on your contract is just galling…



Oakland A’s vs. Baltimore Orioles; Sept. 6th, 2008


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08:19 PM

JWERblog

Epistolary

Jacob opened his email this morning and said, "What's this?" Turns out it was an email blast from Super Fresh Foods, our local subsidiary of A&P. Also turns out that it was one of the cleverest, on-target email marketing sends...

What are three things that blow?

Yes I triumphantly return after getting my internet hooked up again and the chaos of the new school year winds down.

Chaos indeed.  Much of it has kept me from recent Orioles observations, and it seems I picked a good time to be really busy as the Orioles have fallen off the proverbial table.

Table nothing, they have fallen off a cliff.

The Orioles pitching staff has simply imploded.  Jim Johnson is done for the year, Jeremy Guthrie is having shoulder problems and a host of under-experienced pitchers are turning Camden Yards into a walk-a-thon.

But hey, ONE-DOLLAR SEATS AT ALL SEPTEMBER HOME GAMES!

Though that is probably too much money to spend on the brand of baseball that we have seen recently.

As one of those who said that this team did not look like it would all out collapse let me say the following:
The struggles of Garrett Olson and Radhames Liz have been spectacular to a level I don’t think many could have predicted. Especially when you look at their AAA numbers.

The team collapse is coming from a complete implosion of the entire pitching staff. With that happening the collapse should be no shock to anyone. But I think that the utter collapse of every aspect of our pitching system at the major league level is a surprise to even the most hardened cynics.

It is a shame that the Orioles are 1-9 in their last 10, With a seven game losing streak.  But we need to take some solace as to what this season meant. It meant showcasing Adam Jones, who even with an injury, put up very solid numbers and looks to have a bright future. It was about growing Nick Markakis, who is really coming into his own as a top-flight player in the league.

It was to be about growing pitching, not only in the majors but in the minors. Key injuries and maddening ineffectiveness short-circuited that and ruined the season in the last month. But looking to the minors with names like Tillman, Arrietta, Bergensen and Matusz the futre still looks bright.

I do not know what the future holds for Garrett Olson and Radhames Liz. But their performances this year at the major league level have been disturbing to say the least. Maybe they need more seasoning, but their AAA numbers suggest otherwise.

The injury to Loewen was a big blow that really set this rotation, and in a way the entire staff, back at least a year.

Pick up the pieces, take some solace in the fact that even when staring a complete collapse in the face you were still better than most of the learned baseball community thought you would be, and look forward to spring training.

1. In A Sunburned Country
by Bill Bryson

After getting married in May, my wife and I went on a 2-week honeymoon in Australia, and naturally, being a fan of Bill Bryson's books, she took his travelogue about Australia, which I also read later in the trip. I already borrowed one of his books from her before, so I pretty much knew what his M.O. and sense of humor was and enjoyed it. And since I hadn't done much research or even thought very hard about where we were going before we got there, it was really nice to have a book full of really thoughtful prose about exactly why Australia is such a marvelous place and what's so unique about its culture and history. Bryson saw a lot of parts of the country we didn't get to (we stayed mostly in or near major cities on the eastern side of the continent), so it kind of made us want to go back even more and check out some of those places he say.

2. Slash
by Slash and Anthony Bozza

Debauched hard rock memoirs are generally a great subgenre of music books, my favorites that I've read in the past being Motley Crue's The Dirt and David Lee Roth's Crazy From The Heat. But while those were better books overall (by virtue of The Dirt's beautifully balanced multiple conflicting viewpoints, and DLR's gift for sparklingly witty horseshit), Guns N' Roses was always a way more important band to me than Van Halen or the Crue ever were, and Slash was probably the first guitarist I ever worshipped, other than maybe Hendrix. So I knew I had to read this book as soon as I knew it existed, and my wife gave it to me for Christmas last year, and I read the bulk of it on the honeymoon. Although Slash's personality has always seemed like kind of a blank slate, he actually conveys who he is really well here, and the deadpan nature of some of his insane tales of sex and drugs just makes it all the more entertaining and believable, like you know he wouldn't lie or exaggerate because this is just regular life for him. Some of the most entertaining things I learned in this book: 1) he was given the nickname Slash by actor Seymour Cassel, 2) he was really disappointed when he met Alice Cooper and found out that Alice just used snakes as stage props and wasn't super into them like he was, 3) he owned a mountain lion named Curtis. 4) Izzy jammed and wrote with the band that would become Velvet Revolver, and proposed they just do the band with him and Duff singing lead, which I so wish had happened. Slash is also really perceptive about exactly what made GNR great, and had some real musical insight, although maybe that was an area where Bozza helped out a lot.

3. The Road
by Cormac McCarthy

As I mentioned a while back, I started reading this around the time I saw the movie version of No Country For Old Men, and based on those 2 experiences I don't think I'm much of a fan of McCarthy. Ostensibly I guess he's going for a bleak and minimalist style, but every few pages there's some really embarrassing purple prose or some ridiculous metaphor that just makes me shake my head. And in between, there's a lot of storytelling and dialogue that tries so hard to be straightforward and no-nonsense that it actually ends up being hard to read; the 2 main characters in this are a father and son, but the narrator makes a big deal out of not giving their names, or using quotation marks, so there's sometimes long, confusing stretches of alternating "the man said" and "the boy said" sentences, which get super confusing anytime another (also male and unnamed) character enters the picture. And really, the story just isn't that compelling as it's written here, in light of all the other depressing dystopian fiction we've had the past few years. It could make a pretty good movie if executed right, though, probably better than No Country, so I'm kinda looking forward to that in a few months.

4. Dance Music Sex Romance: Prince: The First Decade
by Per Nilsen

My friend Mat has a pretty impressive library of music books and let me grab a couple things from his bookshelf for the trip, and one I grabbed is the Prince book he recommended most highly. This is really the exact kind of musician bio I like to read, and would maybe like to write someday: an account of how the music was made first and foremost, with personal details only coming into play when it provides a context for the songs and the recordings. The writing leaves something to be desired at times, but the focus is right where I want it to be, and the topic is one of my favorite artists of all time during his most productive period. And even though Prince (obviously) didn't participate in the book, there's a fair amount of interviews with band members and other people he worked with at the time. And it's interesting how Nilsen is very obviously a huge fan and shows reverence to the artist, but still provides some criticism and insight into some of the mistakes and strange decisions he made. One recurring theme is how Prince would take credit for other people's contributions, or credit them for things they didn't do or write, in seemingly arbitrary ways, even though Prince never had any shortage of material he wrote and played and sang himself. And there's also some pretty fascinating anecdotes about the making of those classic albums that really give them a whole different dimension. This should be required reading for all Prince fans.

5. Dance of Days: Two Decades of Punk in the Nation's Capital
by Mark Andersen and Mark Jenkins

Another one borrowed from Mat, another book about a really fertile period of music that I have a lot of interest in that packs in tons of info, but still has some weaknesses as far as the actual writing. Also, it was kind of funny to read all these books around the same time and get all these totally different stories about great music being made during the same period in the 1980s: Slash in the L.A. hard rock scene, Prince in the Minneapolis R&B scene, and all these kids in the D.C. punk scene. There's always been kind of a generation gap with me as far as being a lot more interested in the Dischord starting from mid-period Fugazi onward, so it was pretty fascinating to get a larger context about how these guys built a whole community from the ground up for ten years before that. And it was great to get an account directly from people who were there at the time, although Mark Andersen's first person testimonials got a little tedious and precious from time to time.
So the fundraiser on Wedesday turned out great and we raised a good amount of money to donate to our Charity Organization. We ended up closing out the night at Magerk's after coming in 4th or something in trivia at Mad River. The actual happy hour was from 7 - 10 and each hour one of the people from the dragonboat team bartended ... I got the 9- 10 shift. Anyways, it was a great time and we raised money for a good cause.

Lee, Me and Shelley (Bartenders)

Me bartending

Doc, 'Ish, and Paris

The group at Magerk's

I guess this is turning into a photo blog, but since I do love pictures I don't mind.

Congratulations. You’ve snagged an Early Reviewers copy of Any Given Doomsday by Lori Handeland from the August bonus batch.You should get your copy in the mail shortly. The publishers ship the books directly–some are speedier than others, so please be patient (some really do take over 6 weeks to arrive)!

Sweet.

It’s The Early Reviewers list on LibraryThing.

A kind-of pretty “word cloud” of some of the recent posts here. Click it to see it full-size.

Since it came out that Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol managed to get herself knocked up, Republicans have been bellyaching about it is none of our business how Sarah Palin raises her kids or if John McCain cheated on his wife. Many have bought into this argument. However, it is bogus.

Back when I was in the ANG, I had to apply for a security clearance for my MOS. While this did not occur with me, family members of some applicants are checked out. Their spouses and even children were investigated. Why? To ensure they would not compromise National Security or the applicant for the clearance.

Now, if that is allowed, I do not see why we should use the candidates' families to vett them. W do it to our peers all the time. We avoid bad parents and their bad children and subtly encourage our children to find "better" friends. How many of us would like our teenage daughters hanging around Sarah Palin if she was in the same situation, but lived in a trailer park or city housing project? None. We would also ask "where were her parents?"

Look, if one cannot control her kid and prevent her from getting knocked up, how is she going to manage her staff? As for McCain, if he cannot keep his dick in his pants, how are we suppose to trust his promises now?

Ah, Scotland.  Bonnie, bonnie Scotland.  We have now been back for, oh, two weeks?  One week?  It's now September (WTF?  SEPTEMBER?) so maybe we've been back for a month?  I have no idea.  I can't stop crying over that video of the hugging lion long enough to figure it out.  And yes, I'm aware that this video was probably a huge internet sensation about seven years ago (I like to jump on bandwagons after they've already done a few victory laps), so I think that would make it 1992 right now? Merry Christmas? 

Anyway, I've been meaning to write a post about Scotland.  Scotland was awesome!  You should all go to Scotland.  Oh, wait.  You've already been.  And you're already planning to go.  So... nevermind!  Good job, everyone!  Scotland, ho!

Every day I think "I should really write a post about Scotland", and then every day I don't write a post about Scotland because I just don't have time to do it justice.  And then that gets me to thinking about how I still haven't made a photo album for our trip to Barcelona.  Or our trip to Lake Tahoe.  Which was... one year ago.   Wait, Nessie who?  Oh, right.  Scotland.

So here is my brilliant solution, internets.  I am going to do this in segments.   Smart idea, no?  I wish I had thought of it myself!  Oh, wait.  What were you saying? 

BWI and Newark!  Day 1!  (Tuesday!) 

Let me begin by saying: I am not at all a fan of overnight flights.  I have enough trouble sleeping in our Tempurpedic Bed O' Magic, with my well-loved sleeping mask and my Special Walmart Fan for background noise.  Sleeping on an overnight flight is a total joke.  But that's how the world works, you fly eastbound over the Atlantic and you're going to be grouchy, groggy, and nauseous the next day.   But our flights over were about as comfortable as we could have possibly have hoped: the puddle jumper from Baltimore to Newark was fairly smooth and didn't even smell too strongly of piss and Mystery Airline Bathroom Cleaner; the flight from Newark to Edinburgh was empty enough that we had a whole row of three seats to ourselves and we had a choice of 20 on-demand movies and our own personal TV screens in the back of every seat.  (I watched When in Vegas, and it was actually pretty entertaining.   Just in case you were wondering.)

Edinburgh!  Day 2!  (Wednesday!)

By the time we'd arrived in Edinburgh, I'd practiced saying Eh-din-burr-ah enough times in my head to sort of get it right and we actually managed to get an hour or two of sleep.  The airport had an extremely helpful information desk that sold us tickets to the Airlink shuttle bus and told us where to pick it up and everyone had the most delightful accents on earth.  Also, I brushed my teeth and managed to order a coffee without too much confusion.  Score. 

We made it onto the double decker Airlink bus, which dropped us off at the Waverly  bus station in downtown Edinburgh.  I have to commend the Scots on the ease of use with all of their public transportation: the recorded announcements that played on all the buses and trains we took were clear and easy to understand.  There were electronic boards listing all the departure times and gates, the gates were all clearly and logically numbered.  When the train or bus started moving, an announcement would come on saying "This train is for Glasgow, calling in stop1, stop2, stop3, and stop4.  Next stop, stop1."  As someone who has accidentally  taken a bus from Baltimore to New York (which is in New York) when she meant to go to Newark (which is in New Jersey) (which is a different state than New York) in the past, this was reason enough to give Scotland an A+ in my book. 

We managed to store our bags in the train station for the day, buy some breakfast/lunch/WHATEVER IT WAS FOOD, take out some pounds from the "cashpoint", and make our way out of the train station.   I just pointed the camera around taking pictures of all kind of buildings with no idea what they actually were, but I am sure that Jenners is a department store, and that this is Princes Street.   We walked along Princes Street until we were directly below Edinburgh Castle, and then we hiked our way on up.  

  

Edinburgh Castle in the distance

We spent the rest of the day in the castle, which was enormous.  This is the first real castle I've ever seen, and it was even cooler after having just read Pillars of the Earth.  I got a real thrill out of knowing what a "keep" was.  And then I fell asleep standing up for a few minutes and took a few blurry pictures of my feet.  

Edinburgh castle

A note on the weather weather: maybe I'm a little biased at the moment because Baltimore is so disgustingly sweaty, but I thought the much-maligned British weather was downright delightful.  Jeans and a sweatshirt were comfortable each day we were there, and I think I'd be perfectly happy living with summer temperatures in the 50s and 60s.   It rained a bit (we were told it was the wettest August on record, or in 50 years, or something like that), but it was never a stay-inside-all-day-and-watch-movies kind of rain.  This first day in Edinburgh was the rainiest day of our trip, but we were fine with rain jackets and no umbrella, even being outside most of the day.  It misted on several other occasions, but it wasn't even enough to be an inconvenience.  The sun was absent most of the time, but the cloudy and overcast skies were just incredibly dramatic; not at all depressing.

After we'd seen all we could see at the castle, we made our way down the Royal Mile and back to the Waverly Train Station.  We retrieved our bags, bought tickets to Glasgow and got on the train. 

Edinburgh train station

We made it the Queen Street Station in Glasgow, successfully navigated ourself to the Central Train Station in Glasgow and caught our next train to Bishopton - where our almost-embarrassingly-super-duper-fancy hotel was located - and what's that?  You'd like a video tour of our hotel suite?  Well, I declare, it must be your lucky day, Internet!  Because it just so happens that I took a half-delusional, very sleep-deprived video of our room when we arrived!  So what I need you all to do is to cross your fingers and hope real hard that tonight I'll actually be able to locate said video on our home computer.  I recently reorganized everything on there and there is a slight, teensy chance that I might have accidentally "organized away" the few videos I took on the trip.   

Peace out, to be continued, happy Friday, et cetera et cetera!

As I sit down and look out the window on a gloomy Saturday with the rain coming down, and the wind whipping through the sky, I ask myself what the hell did I see last night in person at the Yard?

The Orioles seemed in the game, down by a run — that is, until the eighth inning — thus, little did I know how my fandom would be tested.

While sitting in a intermittent rainstorm and wondering how bad conditions would be on Saturday, the Orioles perhaps had one of their worst innings that I think I have seen in person, much less in baseball — ever.

Some teams have given up more runs throughout the course of an inning; however, how can a team walk in four runs in a frame? To add insult to injury, the pinch-runner who came in the beginning of the inning hit a grand slam home run and it served as the only hit in the frame. In the end, the Oakland A’s were handed a win 11-2, because the Oriole relief staff had severe problems even just finding the strike zone in the fatal frame in the eighth.

Last night was embarrassing, and perhaps served as probably the first time that I have left early because I was disheartened by what I saw. If there’s one thing I know, we need pitching — at this point, and into 2009 — a lot of it.

Furthermore, I feel for Dave Trembley, as to have something like this — ok, it was not nearly as bad as the 30-3 game — take place on a day where your option was picked up on your contract is just galling…

This popped in my head for some strange reason today. It's oddly appropriate for this site. Anyone remember it?

When I was going to school in Philadelphia back in the latter half of the 1980s, there was a five or six block stretch of Chestnut Street that was home to a handful of great theaters. And when I say "great" I mean dank, smelly shoeboxes that regularly offered up whatever horror, action or sexploitation was being released by Cannon, Empire or New World during that last, great gasp of cinematic trash.

I still recall going to see stuff like TRUE BLOOD, an oddball thriller starring Jeff Fahey and Sherilyn Fenn, while the decidedly urban audience playfully hurled insults at my friends and me. There was the night we were in one of the strip's classier theaters for a preview screening of some horror flick and found out that Keenan Ivory Wayans was in the theater next door screening I'M GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA! (we quickly ducked over and gave him a copy of Exploitation Retrospect, the drive-in movie newsletter I was publishing at the time).

But one theater in the neighborhood still holds my fondest memories of afternoons when I should have been in class or Saturday nights when we'd catch a flick before heading to a club to see whatever punk/garage band was in town. The Budco Midtown (now the Prince Theater) was home to two screens that regularly acted as a one-week-only home away from home to such trash as WITCHBOARD, BREEDERS, CREEPAZOIDS, NO MAN'S LAND, BURIAL GROUND and more. But it was the films of Italian splatter legend Lucio Fulci that regularly made me stop in my tracks and plunk down $5 for three hours of joy.

One of the films that I was lucky enough to catch on some insane double-bill was Fulci's GATES OF HELL, a non-stop mix of splatter and Lovecraftian jibber-jabber that isn't so much a film as it is a highlight reel of the master's trademark moments of mayhem and gore. Christopher George stars as a grizzled reporter (not to be confused with his frequent roles as a grizzled cop in other 80s trash fare like THE EXTERMINATOR and the equally brilliant PIECES) who who gets roped into stopping the armies of the dead from taking over the earth. Featuring some of Fulci's most notorious moments – a heart-stopping cemetery rescue, a surprisingly realistic drill to the head, vomited-up intestinal tracts, bleeding eyes, dead priests and more – GATES never disappoints.

So what the heck does that have to do with our trip to Georgia? Well, parts of GATES were shot in the sleepy Southern town of Savannah, GA, which inexplicably is supposed to double for the New England locale of Dunwich, Massachusetts.... a town that doesn't even exist. So who's to say it doesn't look like a distinctly Southern slice of Gothic architecture and lots of iron work? (One reviewer suggests that the film is so inept it's actually good, a claim I have a hard time arguing with.)

Knowing we were headed to GA in the coming months we made plans to hook up with Curt, an old pal, horror blogger and fellow member of the Eurotrash Paradise. We usually get to see Curt once a year or so during our ETP get-togethers but he wasn't able to make this year's Seattle trip so a mini-ETP get-together in Savannah seemed like a must.

Though Hanna was doing her best to dampen our day with clouds, rain and the occasionally whipping wind, we still had a great time walking around town and seeing such sites as the infamous house where the MIDNIGHT IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD & EVIL murder took place.

After a quick walk through town we made our way to the Moon River Brewing Company, a decidedly non-touristy brew pub where we felt it was unlikely to run into fans of Paula Deene or her spawn.

Driving and walking had brought on a mighty hunger and we worked our way through the restaurant's menu which succeeds in being familiar without offering the same old bar food. Fried Green Tomatoes (a favorite of Chris's since her days in her family's restaurant) were juicy and tasty, despite a slightly overcooked crust. Leek & Goat Cheese Cakes (shown at right) were a unique and great combination of flavors, though the leeks should have been chopped more to eliminate the stringiness and a sauce of some type would have taken them to another level; an accompanying scoop of lentils were dry to the point of dessication and seemed woefully out of place.

The Bayou Shrimp (right) fared much better, featuring shrimp stuffed with smoked kielbasa, baked and served in a sauce I didn't even need. (Side note... I really like the South's obsession with shrimp and sausage.) Curt and I both decided on the Lowcountry Crab Melt, which wasn't so much a sandwich as it was a baking dish filled with toast, crab salad, cheese and, um, cheese.

A couple Belgian-style wheat ales (Curt) and some Swamp Fox IPA (yours truly) topped off an excellent lunch that gave us the strength and courage to check out some of the Savannah-based GATES locales that Curt had scoped out.

While he wasn't able to pin down the location of the cemetery used in the film's opening (and even hardcore Savannahites were of no help) Curt did lead us to the staircase that John-John runs down when trying to escape from his now-zombified (?) sister Emily. (Forgive me if my recollections of GATES are rusty... it has been about a year since I saw it and my DVD is at home.) We also took video (which I'll post at a later date) of what we believe is the catwalk that one of the zombies jumps off during the film's whacked out running time.

After walking the streets that the grandfather of Italian splatter had walked, it was time to head out. The rains were whipping their way through the streets of Savannah and one could almost hear Fulci shouting for the effects gurus to bring in more sheep intestines for the next gruesome effect.

We landed in Oslo about seven hours ago (4AM to our body clocks and 10AM Oslo time). Once me made it out of baggage claim, the Viking Queen was waiting for us and holding up this sign: